For more serious questions and answers, check out the Questions page!
Still want to ask the Oracle? Go ahead! (Just Don't Expect a Useful Answer: This is for humor, not "serious business")
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Who is the Oracle? —Evan 'JabberWokky' Edwards The Great and Powerful Davis Wiki Oracle answers: The Oracle is all — every deity, person, dog, cat and blade of grass... I answer in the fullness of time and with great wisdom.
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O Oracle, hear my plea! How do I get everyone to agree to a board meeting time? —BrentLaabs The Great and Powerful Davis Wiki Oracle answers: The hours for Hibbert Lumber are 7am to 6pm on weekdays, 8am to 5pm on Saturdays. You could also advertise on Craigslist that you're looking for a knotty pine, athletic build. Be safe and use a condom. And sandpaper.
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Oracle! Why am I always unable to edit my presentation and go through image files on my dual-19" screens computer at work, and instead suffer on my 15" laptop at home? —EdWins The Great and Powerful Davis Wiki Oracle answers: Worry not about the size of the window through which you view the world, worry instead about the size of the world that views you through your window. Envy is the bane of joy. Buy rain gear.
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Dear Oracle, why is my laptop making weird noises after I poured syrup on the screennnnnnnnn, aand wwhhyy aree mmyy kkeeyyss sstticckingg?? —TomGarberson The Great and Powerful Davis Wiki Oracle answers: Install Pancake Unix on your laptop and let the ferret lick your fingers.
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Oh great and mighty Oracle, hear my plea! I need a real job. Are you hiring? —WilliamLewis The Great and Powerful Davis Wiki Oracle answers: It depends; how morally flexible are you? Are you willing to work for free? Go forth and spread the word of the wiki and good things will come to you.
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Oh great Oracle, sun of soft people: What is the Wiki not, and why isn't it? —IDoNotExist The Great and Powerful Davis Wiki Oracle answers: The answer to your question existed right up until you asked. Go find the Exit to the Donut. Then eat two quarts of sour cream.
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Oh Oracle of perpetually powerful power, ludicrously large largess, extraordinarily enterprising entendres, and fascinatingly fast feedback... —IDoNotExist A duck?
2010-01-23 03:18:59 Why does the link in the random comment about the kettle corn bribe link to Safeway instead of the page for the Farmers Market? —hankim
2010-06-26 14:02:32 Mighty Oracle, answer me this: how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck got furloughed? —TomGarberson The Great and Powerful Davis Wiki Oracle answers: Wood chuck chucking is a vital community infrastructure project, and is considered "shovel ready". Major woodchucking projects have been funded around the country as part of the federal government bailout. You should apply to your local city wood chucking council to find wood chucking projects in your area.
2010-07-21 16:18:25 Oh great and powerful Wiki Oracle hear my plea! I am frustrated by people abusing the wiki and refusing to clear things up! What can I do that is more useful, or at least more entertaining for the wiki? —WilliamLewis
2010-07-21 20:23:13 Will Wiki Edit-Wars ever cease to exist? —WesOne
2010-10-14 08:38:24 Oh great Oracle, why is there no stop sign (or at least a cross-walk) at the intersection of 3rd and C? —DagonJones
