|Suzie Miller and The Davis Community!|
|Information, Political Endorsement, or Free Sticker|
"Keep Davis Boring" is a concerned group of Davis citizens with the goal of keeping Davis, Davis! We love Davis and would hate to see our unique blend of liberal civic values compromised by those concurrent with the growing transient population. Our organization came about in the lead-up to the Fall elections of 2006. With the huge controversy surrounding Measures K few people noticed the more subtle but exceedingly virulent Measure F, which threatened to loosen restrictions that protect our quality of life and destroy everything Davis has stood for since much of the community purchased houses here in the early-mid 1980s.
Our platform is as follows:
"Keep Davis Boring” is against big-box incursion into our small business-friendly community. Davis needs to preserve our local boutiques. The local art scene is supported by our wealth of craft and bead stores that can satisfy the needs of any scrap-booker.
"Keep Davis Boring" is against undesirable development in Davis. Our small-town charm is under siege from developers and temporary residents demanding unsustainable low rents. High rents keep our property values high, and property owners support local business and community vitality.
"Keep Davis Boring" is for protecting our diverse local businesses from outside competition.
"Keep Davis Boring" is against unreasonable neighborhood disturbances. Davis’ diverse community of property and business owners, professors, researchers, entrepreneurs, craftsmen and women, hobbyists and homemakers, came to Davis to realize a dream of a quiet family environment. That dream is threatened by unconscionably disruptive behaviors like parties, loud music, skateboarding, and public drunkenness.
"Keep Davis Boring" believes that Davis is not a college town. We are a diverse family-oriented community of like-minded individuals. We recognize the negative fiscal impact of the transient student population. Students living on campus are already prevented from voting in local elections. "Keep Davis Boring" supports future measures to bar all registered UC Davis students from participating in local politics, of which they are ignorant.
"Keep Davis Boring" is against Davis becoming another Woodland. Big box stores, cheap eating establishments, and poorly maintained housing cater to unmotivated, uneducated populations.
"Keep Davis Boring" is for preserving the character of downtown Davis. We must protect the privilege enjoyed by established residents to walk to work at our local law, real estate, psychiatric, and corporate offices.
"Keep Davis Boring" supports law enforcement. The Davis community must collaborate with law enforcement interests to levy higher fines on miscreants who threaten our peace and privacy. "Keep Davis Boring" supports noise regulations like Chapter 24.01.030 that facilitate enforcement with the threat of imprisonment.
"Keep Davis Boring" supports substantial subsidization of exclusive events that meet community standards. Events must be safe and reassuring for the whole family, from pony rides at the Farmer’s Market to our phenomenally successful Davis Fest. No matter what the occasion, reasonable people deserve familiar music that we have heard before.
"Keep Davis Boring" is against any events (political get-togethers, concerts, parties, readings, religious gatherings, “jam sessions”) that may exceed our cherished noise protections.
"Keep Davis Boring" supports cultural and musical diversity in Davis. However, black musicians should only be allowed to play the blues or jazz, preferably instrumentals.
"Keep Davis Boring" categorically refuses to revisit the question of a “European” open container policy in the city of Davis.
"Keep Davis Boring" wants our children inside and safe after dark. Our increasingly crime-ridden streets (60% rate increase in the past two months) prove that FUN doesn’t work for our community. "Keep Davis Boring" is against trick-or-treating after 5 p.m. Happily, Davis has affirmed this position—mission already achieved.
"Keep Davis Boring" supports businesses that keep reasonable business hours that reflect community values, like spending evenings with our children. Businesses that stay open eight, ten, EVEN twenty-two hours, foster subversive communication and behavior.
"Keep Davis Boring" supports maintaining our quality of life. "Keep Davis Boring" is working with public transit to establish a shuttle to transport less-fortunate individuals to more appropriate socioeconomic surroundings and opportunities, like factory and agricultural work, and the military.
"Keep Davis Boring" is against the homogenizing effects of the cultural hegemony of the Bush administration. "Keep Davis Boring" supports our progressive values and our right to maintain our community standards in the face of encroaching threats from the libertarian fringe.
Some community members have voiced indignation over our organization name and slogan. "Keep Davis Boring!" may seem divisive, we all are aware of the complaints made by transients about the lack of entertainment venues, "budget" food options, and so-called "fair" housing. In our opposition to Measure F (offensively dubbed "Measure Fun" by its transient supporters) we realized what made Davis great —our quiet, community-oriented, local-business-friendly values— and said "Hey! Davis is kinda boring." That's the way we like it! So we're turning it around...
Keep Davis Boring, Keep Davis DAVIS!
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2008-05-11 17:52:49 This is either seriously funny or funny because its serious. —JamesSchwab
Check out Poe's law!
2008-05-11 18:06:56 Our organization is very serious! Although our profile has been low the past few years (raising a family sure is time consuming!) look for us tabling at the Farmer's Market this summer where we'll be distributing information packets and FREE STICKERS!! —SuzieMiller
2008-05-11 18:14:45 But see, Davis IS a college town. You can't deny that. Without the university, this town would not exist, unlike other cities where a university is built long after the city is developed. —BrandonBarrette
2008-05-11 18:30:12 Oh Brandon, of course we know that! Keep Davis Boring members are all former students and we realize the immense opportunities created for local business and property managers by Davis' ever-growing student population. That's why we're looking to sponsor legislation that will solve our housing demand crisis by requiring graduates of UC Davis to either buy property/rent downtown retail space or vacate the city within one year of graduation! —SuzieMiller
2008-05-11 18:34:50 "Against Davis becoming another Woodland": I don't think we need to worry about Davis becoming uneducated as long as UC Davis is around. And the educated residents of Woodland might find this statement insulting. I personally am against Davis becoming elitist. —ElleWeber
2008-05-11 18:45:22 To remark on "However, black musicians should only be allowed to play the blues or jazz, preferably instrumentals." That is what is called racism. I can't believe that this "family oriented" group would be supporting such racist remarks. Also the "against any events (political get-togethers, concerts, parties, readings, religious gatherings, “jam sessions”) that may exceed our cherished noise protections." I don't think of Davis as a particularly loud town. The only loud noise I hear is the high schoolers downtown. —BrandonBarrette
2008-05-11 18:46:23 You're right Elle. Sue Geenwald commented on DCTV last year that Davis and Woodland have a healthy relationship. I believe she said that Woodland citizens come to Davis to enjoy our upscale restaurants and movie theaters or work in various janitorial labor for the University whereas Davis residents can go to Woodland to enjoy budget shopping options like Target and Wal Mart that Davis simply isn't equipped to include. —SuzieMiller
2008-05-11 19:07:59 I wonder how long till this page gets deleted. Aside from chaos, it doesn't really add to or benefit the Davis Wiki community.
But in other news, this looks a lot like the work of Brendan (of KDVS)...but maybe its just cause he is responsible for when I first heard about this back in 2006... —SunjeetBaadkar
2008-05-11 19:22:07 Agreed. I'm Indian and Portuguese. I wonder what music I'd be allowed to play. Will I have to turn in my guitar for a sitar? Maybe close my bookstore before we hit the eight hour mark. Who knows what subversive literature those visiting janitors could be reading? I guess its back to spending my Friday nights listening to my fine collection of Muzak as I sip tepidly on room-temperature water. I'm not thirsty...I just like the taste... —SunjeetBaadkar
2008-05-11 19:25:37 Haha, I couldn't believe that remark either that "Woodland residents only work as Janitors in Davis." I have really considered leaving Davis once in candidacy because it is so dang expensive to live here. Not only for rent, but groceries and entertainment. Nonetheless, after thinking about this page, I realized it is really just a hypocrisy and I should just laugh and move on, but stop back frequently for casual laughs. —BrandonBarrette
2008-05-11 19:41:48 You guys have been trolled so hard. —WilliamLewis
2008-05-11 19:49:06 —BrentLaabs
2008-05-11 19:59:08 If this is meant to be a joke, it is not well done, because I know people like this, sadly. Nonetheless, remove the page if it isn't real. Its irrelevant to Davis and just plain dumb. —BrandonBarrette
2008-05-11 20:44:17 I CONCUR WHOLEHEARTEDLY
BORING DAVIS WINS —StevenDaubert
2008-05-11 20:58:46 I'm 99% sure that this is indeed some species of troll. However, if it isn't, most of the items cited in the keep Davis boring platform would get thrown out in court in any case, as they would violate the Constitution... —IDoNotExist
2008-05-11 21:04:42 I like the idea of keeping Davis "boring" (sans all the elitism, racism, pretentiousness and fascism expressed on this page—see ""Keep Davis Boring" supports noise regulations like Chapter 24.01.030 that facilitate enforcement with the threat of imprisonment", et al). Imprisonment? Really? Yea, I might be for that if there was no real, serious crimes being committed. I think that Davis PD should be using their limited resources on catching real criminals (as opposed to writing chicken-S*** tickets). I want Davis boring, too, but I don't agree with most of the stuff on this page, somehow. Don't forget, Davis IS a university town. The University is what put Davis on the map. I like being able to walk around with a beverage and I don't consider businesses that close too early as having "reasonable business hours". On a positive note, I like the anti-big-box sentiment. And I'm not one of these so-called, "transients". I'm huge Davisite and I still feel this way.
And can someone please tell me why I am offended over the "black musicians" comment? I'm not uptight, but nobody is going to take this group or mission seriously if S*** like that is "supported". And the family crap could be toned down a little, too. —CurlyGirl26
2008-05-11 21:23:58 This isn't a trolling; this is a lampooning. Pretty well done, too, I think. —CovertProfessor
2008-05-11 21:39:37 So is there some rule that says that businesses in Davis must close by 9ish? This doesn't occur consistently, but there aren't that many restaurants open after 9, and there are almost none open after 10... —IDoNotExist
2008-05-11 21:54:48 The civic code that punishes noise violations with imprisonment is legit. Noise violations are a misdemeanor (normally you're not supposed to go to jail for it), but recently many cities around the country have enstated a "three strikes" policy. Two years ago I got two noise tickets in one night. The cops said if they came back again I'd go to jail. fucked up.
Un-constitutional? A couple years ago the university banned "Hip Hop" and "Punk" music from campus. That sounds a bit racist to me. —AndyPastalaniec
2008-05-11 22:13:48 This is not a joke. It's clearly satirical. I also believe this page shouldn't be deleted since I've seen this stickers around Davis so it actually does have relevance. —JeremyOgul
Let's hope so. —CurlyGirl26
2008-05-11 22:26:20 So is it legit to publish racist comments on Davis Wiki.. because it seems that way (in regards to this page). I realize this page is rather fake; as the author made this page today, made their profile today, and uploaded a fake pic on their profile. Nonetheless, its about keeping the integrity of Davis Wiki... —BrandonBarrette
Just because you think its funny doesn't mean other people won't be offended. It is ridiculous that the wiki has come to this. And this is nothing like "Keep Austin Weird." This steps the boundary because the satire is so true in this case that it could be mistaken as the truth. See Poe's Law above after the first comment. —BrandonBarrette
Why is are so many people hypersensitive over racism, especially in satire? Keeping it won't harm the integrity of the wiki at all. It's not like this page paints us all as racists or racist sympathizers. In fact, this page makes fun of racists in a way. —WilliamLewis
2008-05-11 22:31:02 Wow, I didn't know about the Austin thing...thanks! Yay indy bookstores! —SunjeetBaadkar
2008-05-11 22:40:27 I don't feel right about this page being deleted. —CurlyGirl26
2008-05-11 22:57:57 "The "Keep Davis Boring" symbol of approval can be spotted at businesses and Davis landmarks we support!"
I saw a KDB sticker on a Don Saylor sign. Does that mean that KDB endorses and supports Don Saylor? —GregWebb
2008-05-12 00:58:18 As a former resident of Austin I find this hilarious. I want my free sticker! —WilliamBeamish
2008-05-12 13:51:33 Suzie Miller, you are my Ron Paul. —RobRoy
2008-05-12 14:34:47 Why would anyone delete the best page on the Wiki? It's not like the Wiki has any integrity anyway. And as a Mexican, I say keep this goddamn page, crackers. —JoshFernandez
2008-05-12 15:20:38 Keep Davis Boring and I share a birthday, ergo it should remain...I wonder who they are endorsing for council? —AndrewPeake
2008-05-19 17:38:35 Not a college town? If half the population were fisherman, would it not be a fishing town? If half the population were coal miners, would it not be a mining town? Does it not work the same way with students? —CodyDuncan
Nope, remember that KDB maintains that students only count as 3/5ths of a person. (See the final paragraph? "Transients" refers to students).
Doesn't that make Davis a "Transient-town" then? —SunjeetBaadkar
What's KDS? — BrandonBarrette (I meant KDB and fixed it. It's bad satire when you mistype.)
2008-05-22 09:13:41 I just noticed the graffiti art between the art building and theatre on campus was completely painted over with one solid bland color and above this was a Keep Davis Boring Sticker. Does KDB do the graff removal? this would seem to fit within the scope of their mission... —PxlAted
2008-06-18 09:42:39 My neighbors' kids started playing basketball in the front yard at 7am in the morning today!!! Unlike when college kids have parties past 10pm, kids are allowed to make noise in the early morning with impunity. Fuck you keep davis boring!! —AndyPastalaniec
2008-06-20 23:01:31 The bumper sticker "Keep Davis Boring" was mentioned in public comment on Thursday June 19th at a Planning Commission meeting. I don't know if the speaker understood that the phrase is somewhat of a sarcastic statement but her argument was that Davis should not be boring by building a 400 acre senior housing community at the farm on Poleline and Covell. What do you think of that Suzie Miller? —RobRoy
2008-07-09 22:38:04 a nice gradual breakdown. —CodyDuncan
2008-07-29 11:45:36 Davis: 14 square miles surrounded by reality. —AndyPastalaniec
2008-07-29 14:50:16 The police have been called two or three times from some anonymous neighbor about my parent's dog barking. It would be one thing if it was the middle of the night, but they tend to show up promptly at 10:05 pm, right after the noise ordinance goes into effect. Even the police officer acknowledged that it was a stupid complaint... —MaryLieth
2009-07-19 00:19:02 ¿WHY DO SO FEW PEOPLE COMMENTING NOT GET THE SATIRE? ¿Are you really that oblivious? —encephalous
2010-01-21 05:00:31 black bear dinner what the fuck ? —timlane
2010-01-21 11:58:33 Where might one acquire a KDB bumper sticker? —ARWENNHOLD
duh... just saw the email address :P - AW
2010-01-22 15:22:34 I'm so glad you guys helped shut down the Davis Bike Church. They were a nuisance to the neighborhood, attracting child molesters and non-english speaking people of color with their impractical "Utopic" vision of bike repair for all. They were definitely a threat to our well-established local bike stores, too, and were draining cash out of the local economy. Worst of all, they were not boring— at least, they didn't think they were. I went by there a couple of times and the people looked pretty boring to me. But not in a good way.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! —TyNowotny
2010-06-27 00:58:00 Love the name Keep Davis Boring. In Fact I love it so much I own www.KeepDavisBoring.com and have cool Stickers coming soon... very soon. If you are interested... write me... DavisBikes@gmail.com Dave —spook00
2010-07-14 16:18:02 Oh wow David! Great site! Very boring! Aging stars of classic rock, adult contemporary and Juno- perhaps the most boring movie ever- are all right in line with the values of Keep Davis Boring! Get those stickers out there! Although they're not as boring as the original, but nonetheless, keep up the good work! —SuzieMiller
2010-07-22 00:27:22 Cheers Suzie... This site will grow in time. Thanks for the input... Keep Davis Boring —spook00
2012-10-19 02:16:56 is this still around? because half of this seems incredibly stupid —shambler