Serious Candidate. Serious Issues. Serious Hats. Maxwell Kappes was a candidate for ASUCD Senate in the Fall 2012 ASUCD Election running on the S.L.A.T.E. slate, so basically an independent. He won the sixth seat in the election in the thirteenth round because of the elimination of all other remaining candidates, being shy of threshold by a little more than one vote. Needless to say, his father could be a little more proud.
As a senator he is an outspoken critic of Cal Aggie Camp and ASUCD funding towards the Safeboat program. He also frequently compares senate to a "self-congradulatory circle-jerk", which draws as many "boo's" as it does applause. It is only fitting that he is considered the obligatory "Joke Senator" and Senate is stupid enough to have trusted him with a gavel.
Before Maxwell Kappes ran for ASUCD Senate he founded some clubs and did some volunteering and some other stuff.
President; Davis Urban Gaming Group
Co-Founder; Davis Cards and Games
Head Administrator; Humans vs. Zombies
Former Member; Cuarto Leadership Council
Member; Internal Affairs Commission
Volunteer; Elections Committee
Intern; Justin Goss
UNITE STUDENT ORGANIZATIONS
We have over 400 registered student organizations on campus, but right now, with only a few exceptions, it takes a culture week for them to band together for the benefit of the campus. With each student organization so isolated from one another, we have situations like that with Davis College Democrats and Davis College Republicans, where a proposed debate has been in contention for over two years. I’m working with Miles Thomas, President of the League of Campus Organizations, and the Center for Student Involvement to create a committee where every student organization can send a representative to an ASUCD body to organize large, multi-club events, work closer with student government, and promote themselves more effectively to the student body.
PROMOTE CAMPUS ENTERTAINMENT
As a head administrator of Humans v Zombies game on campus I have a lot of experience organizing campus-wide entertainment events. I believe that students are empowered by taking control of their college experience and creating their own events. Entertainment Council should be funding and/or promoting high-energy events such as the Davis Dance Marathon, Campus-Wide Capture-the-Flag, and Battle at the Quad. The current model for Entertainment Council is great, but too narrow in focus. In broadening Entertainment Council’s scope to campus events that make Davis stand out among the UC’s, Davis can be a richer campus.
His campaign slogans included:
Make his father proud!
Serious Candidate. Serious Issues. Serious Hats.
Think outside the box.
Think inside another box.
Can I haz vote?
He wears the hats in this relationship.
Let's win this race!
The candidate for the daviswiki generation!
Alyson Noele Sagala formally and retroactively endorsing Maxwell Kappes for ASUCD.
For all you UCD undergrads, I highly recommend a vote for two good friends of mine- Liam Burke and Maxwell Kappes, in no particular order. Both are smart, knowledgeable candidates that will do a fantastic job if elected. - Dylan Schaefer, but if you read in between the lines you can tell he is totally telling you to vote for Max over Liam.
Maxwell, Of course I retroactively endorse you. And if a time machine is invented any time soon, I'll help you campaign to win a seat in the Winter 2012 ASUCD Elections. - Rob Roy after being publically asked for an endorsement on the facebook event of Evan Rothstein.
Some people also made facebook shoutouts about how cool Max was including Controller Melanie Maemura, Yara Zokaie, Ryan Meyerhoff, Justin Goss, Sergio Cano, Patrick Sheehan, Paul Min, among others. He also got Greg Webb to tell his sister to vote for him and Eli Yani to acknowledge his existence. Odd to get so much establishment from someone who started his campaign as a joke.
Liam Burke also wore one of Max's paper campaign hats, but quickly put the hat away before Max was able to take a picture. Was Liam just too ashamed to let people know that he actually was going to vote Max #1 instead of himself?
Maxwell Kappes: A History
Maxwell Kappes came to UC Davis as a doe-eyed transfer student. He was quickly seduced by the independent nature of Justin Goss, much to the irritation of his classmate and maybe sort-of friend Patrick Sheehan. After botching an interview for the Internal Affairs Commission he became disillusioned with the system and wanted nothing less than to burn it all down.
We imagine the call to run looked something like this. Soon he began scheming. Having a hatred of slates (not believing that so many people could legitimately share the same opinions, be it in school government of national politics) he came up with the best idea ever: mock the entire system. With his co-conspirators Thanh Vu and Colten Saunders he decided to troll the Winter 2012 ASUCD Election. With their willing underling Miles Thomas the four of them decided they would create a new slate; Italics, to challenge what was the only functioning party: BOLD. The plan was to make a mockery of each candidates platforms, but then Max got bored with the idea and it never got off the ground. Ultimately, Colten Saunders still decided to run for ASUCD Senate on the only semi-serious Italics platform, bringing back the ASUCD Book Exchange. Patrick Devlin, someone who overheard Max talk about ASUCD once also ran, but was unrelated to all of his plans.
Following that Maxwell decided to lay low and sell out. He joined the Internal Affairs Commission and went to senate meetings occasionally. When Fall came around again he found himself at a crossroads. Should he run for senate? If so, should he be a giant joke or be serious? He was courted by the BEAST (Better Empowering Activism in Students Today) slate but after it failed to get off the ground he found himself an orphan. Slateless and alone Max was left with one option, run for Senate. He did that.
It was time to be BOLD and have a GO at a senate run. He decided to take the LEAD on issues had a real Student Focus. He was going to put a JAM in the system and Ignite a new Focus on Student LEADership. He was going to get his friends together and urge some FUCKing campus kindness. A new day had dawned. Max realized what he had to do. His senate run wasn't a joke anymore.. It wasn't some trivial thing. People believed in him. They thought he was SMART and that he could ACT NOW to get the job done. But if Max was going to run for senate, he was going to do the job right. He was going to be a Student Leading Activism Through Empowerment.
And then he won.
The best part is nobody looks like they're treating this like anything unusual. Maxwell Kappes has tried to take ASUCD Senate as seriously as it deserves to be taken, and because of it is not taken very seriously. He tries to uphold his values through actions like giving joke speeches for committee positions, sarcastic quips in his arguments and filling his weekly reports with non-sequiturs. That being said he still tries to be hyper involved, only behind Kabir Kapur for most time spent on the third floor, holding ten office hours a week and spending as much time as he can give in commissions and commission interviews.
If you want to tell Max he is doing a bad job, a good job, or some other form of job he can be found on campus pretty much all day. His office hours are [not available, lol it's summer]. He can be contacted on facebook or by vuvuzela (if you happen to have one).
Because Max doesn't like slates and doesn't take the idea of them serious he will jump affiliation from time to time. While elected as a member of S.L.A.T.E. he officially disaffiliated himself from the organization on January 17th, 2013, and aligned himself with the very defunct FUCK slate. In the Winter 2013 ASUCD Election, he was a campaign manager for the BEST Slate.
He has so far failed to increase the size of senate, create a mouthpiece for clubs or bring more entertainment to campus. On the bright side he totally gave Berkeley the finger.
Max has served as the adoptive senator for The Aggie, AggieTV, and Tipsy Taxi. Additionally he has sat on URSAC, Media Board, SFAC, and the Cocaine Committee (CRAC). For some reason his senate elected him pro-temp of senate, but that might be because they were sick of him running.
Some Piece of Shit Speech He Gave
After a particularly infuriating senate meeting where they simutaniously failed a bill for being too silly and then passed another one on the merits of its silliness Max sort of lost his shit. So what did he do? He wrote a speech and delivered it at the end of the senate meeting. He got some applause, more booing, and then his speech was ripped in half. He taped it back together though, but to make sure it is immortalized he decided to post it here:
"What is ASUCD? We provide food for students. We "run" the busses. We have a radio station. Then there is senate, the seedy underbelly.
When people hear about ASUCD they don't think about our wonderful services, they think about senate. And when they think about senate they think about political science majors padding their resumes. And I don't blame them, we are composed almost entirely of a self-congratulatory circle-jerk. It is dangerous.
We spend $70,000 to send children to camp. Why? No seriously, WHY? Because it makes us feel warm and fuzzy. Because it looks good on resumes. It is maturbatory.
Senators don't have the best interest of the association in mind. We get elected with no experience or knowledge of the institution because we were popular. We throw money at pork, association be dammed. What received an increase in funding in the budget? Ethnic Grads and Safeboat. What got cut? EVERYTHING ELSE!
You can't question the merits of a bill. In you oppose this you are racist or you hate children or want to see people die. What about internal operations? Fuck that. Instead we just want to please ourselves.
We are, to our core, shitty people. We zoom through a $40,000 budget in 20 minutes. We vote how our slate leaders tell us and narrow debate down as much as possible. We lose our shit and object for the dumbest fucking reasons. We silence opposition and delegitimize arguments without arguing against them. We presume consent and ignore each other. We are narcissistic assholes who just want everyone to know how great we are.
Fuck us. I hope our resumes are nice and shiny after our year of poor prioritization, short sighted decision making and our best attempts to tear down the association.
The fact that I, the asshole who ran as a joke with a squid on his head has to point this out is disgusting."
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2013-01-21 12:23:41 As a campaign manager of the Friends Urging Campus Kindness, I'm happy to designate you as an Official Candidate of our slate. Despite the fact that you were elected. And because essentially anyone who asked could be a member of our slate, and all members of our slate are Official Candidates by tradition.
Besides, you have the perfect pedigree to join the Friends anyway: gamer, IAC, Elections Committee, KDVS. —BrentLaabs
2013-03-17 15:53:47 You WISH you were any where NEAR as cool as I am! —DylanSchaefer
2013-03-18 20:43:01 No Dylan, you wish you were half the cool I am. —MaxwellKappes
2013-03-18 23:34:36 Max is a pretty cool guy. he represents students and doesnt afraid of anything —RyanMeyerhoff
2013-08-09 03:09:38 two thumbs up !!! —JeffersonChau
2013-08-09 09:48:26 fight the good fight —StevenDaubert
2013-09-27 17:16:58 Keep f.u.c.k.ing the good fuck, Maxwell. —RobRoy
2013-09-30 01:26:02 re: the piece of shit speech he gave.
lol nothing changes —RyanMeyerhoff
2013-11-17 14:48:39 I can't wait for you to apply to med school in 5 years and then realize the monster you have created —StevenDaubert