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04spoof.jpg The California Aggie's spoof edition for 2005 was entitled "Newsweak" featured a range of articles, including a headlining article about Davis Wiki. The spoof came out on June 8, 2005. The articles were:

  1. Articles
  2. Front Page Story
  3. The Wiki Tank
    1. Comments on the Tank
  4. Comments on Newsweak

Eric Talevich wrote a [WWW]couple of stories for the spoof that were cut.

Front Page Story

NEWSWEAK EXCLUSIVE: Davis Wiki launches coup, overthrows ASUCD

layercake: Computer nerds show surprising strength in violent assult

By Matt Jojola and
Daniel Stone
Editors in Briefs

Daviswiki.org, a Davis information website, launched a military offensive at 3:27
Tuesday afternoon, storming the Memorial Union in an attempt to take control of
the ASUCD Senate.

The attach was led by Rev. ChadVanSchoelandt, a prominent Davis Wiki user, and
his posse of Orwellian, fanny pack-wearing vigilantes.

"We're just so sick of the association," VanSchoelandt said as he picked up a
table from the ASUCD Coffee House he later threw at winter election running-mate
KristenBirdsall.  "With the elections over, we had nothing exciting to put on the
Wiki, so we decided to cause our own controversy."

After the walls of the MU were breached by Davis Wiki insurgents, Coho patrons
were reported to have immediately evacuated the building in a scene reminiscent
of the reaction to news that Prince William was single again.

Senators holding office hours on the third floor during the raid raced to attempt
to jam the elevator shafts.  After Davis Wiki co-founder
PhilipNeustrom broke the elevator's computer codes, the vigilantes crowded the
elevators beyond occupancy limits and ravaged the third floor within
minutes.

ASUCD President CaliphAssagai said he was enjoying listening to Enya while
painting a mural in his office when the Davis Wiki group enterred.

"I was just relaxing and painting over [former ASUCD President] KalenGallagher's
mustang when all these fanny packs were thrown at me," Assagai said from a
make-shift war prison in the engineering department.  "I didn't know what to do,
so I just cowered in the corner, yelling for Darnell[Holloway] and Devin[Whitney].
But they didn't come.  No one came.  it was like I was running this school all by
myself."

Assagai expressed interest in continuing to speak with The California Aggie, but
was dragged away by Davis Wiki co-founder MikeIvanov, a self-proclaimed warden of
the prison.

The 12 members of the senate could not be contacted after the assault, though are
reported to be hiding in Sen. RobRoy's car, which he had previously claimed as the
best housing in Davis.

When the attempted coup ended, VanSchoelandt found the original copy of the ASUCD
Consitution, which was ratified in 1996, in Business Manager MarkChampagne's desk.
Witnesses told The Aggie that VanSchoelandt ripped the wordy 500-page document in
half with one pull.

The campus suffered a far-reaching power outage as the result of the offensive.
UCD technicians blame a fuse blowout on hordes of Davis Wiki users who simultaneouly
attempted to upload pictures and edit statistics on the page created for the event.

The Wiki Tank

Should Davis Wiki ever get an armored tank, where could we store such a vehicle so that those in ASUCD and The California Aggie wouldn't find out about it? Or more realistically, keep it out of ASUCD's reach, as they would undoubtedly retrofit it to launch tube socks.

wikipanzer.JPG


"from the Aggie spoof Newsweak"

Comments on the Tank


2005-08-19 16:11:35   Sign me up as tank driver. —SimonFung


2005-08-19 16:55:41   Why not inside the fire station? —ScottRitchie


2005-08-19 17:49:52   What is the length of a tank? Could it fit in the Farmers Market and be covered in camouflaging produce? —JabberWokky


2005-08-19 20:15:00   Hell yes. Or perhaps out at the Equestrian Center... we could use it to deliver hay? —CindySperry


2005-08-20 04:15:32   Ballastic Hay Delivery... "Hay!" ker-fwumpTarZxf


2005-08-20 10:42:52   I want to try parallel-parking that thing downtown. —BlancheNonken


2005-08-20 11:08:37   nothing piques the appetite like a jolt of fear-laced adrenaline... really, it's better for the horses that way! I mean, we'd be conditioning them to believe that military equipment and flying flakes of hay go together... —CindySperry


2005-08-20 14:37:51   There is already lots of stuff besides airplanes out at the Airport, like the Antique Mechanics Club and there are other people who have antique cars in hangars too. —NickSchmalenberger

Comments on Newsweak

Comments:

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Such great advertisement for the wiki. -GeorgeLewis

This is best thing in the world. Anyone have a scanner? —PhilipNeustrom

How did they find out about our plans? —BrentLaabs

Blatant ripoff of most recent spoof. — ArlenAbraham

I read it and noticed that it's kind of close to the truth. BTW, did you all notice how they attributed their quotes? — KenBloom

["Users/KenBloom"] says that if the ["Aggie"] had done an article with the ordinary ["journalistic writing style"], but pretended to ["link"] things using ["WikiCode"] it would have been best.

This is my new favorite page.

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