Stapler Liberation Front


So, Campus Computer Labs lack staplers. Why not try and put them there yourself? That's the idea behind the Stapler Liberation Front. Contrary to popular belief, the SLF has nothing to do with the Campus Crusade for Chaos and Confusion since that does not officially exist. It was concieved by "Chaos Phoenix", publicized in an email sent to the usual suspects:

Subject: Stapler Liberation Front

All right, gang, it's time to get political. For too long the computer labs
of UCD have lingered in agony without staplers for the students to use. The
Friends Urging Campus Kindness promised in the last election to provide staplers,
but it looks like their noble intentions have become bogged down in the
sticky bureaucracy of the Student fnord Senate. The students of Davis need staplers
NOW, not next year! It's time for some good old-fashioned vigilante justice.

Specifically, we're going to perform a string of reverse robberies. Here's
the ideal result:

Dozens of students are sitting at the computers, and dozens more are waiting
in line. Most are probably grumbling to themselves about the lack of a
stapler. Suddenly, the door bursts open, and a dozen mysterious persons dressed in
black, with capes, top hats, and masks, rush into the room. Many are carrying
staplers. Their leader stands in front of the room, and addresses the crowd: "In
the name of the Stapler Liberation Front, and for the good of the students of
Davis, we present this computer lab with a stapler!" he shouts. The rest of
the strange warriors raise their staplers (or fists) in salute, and all shout
in unison "Free Staples For All! Ka-Chunk!" The masked strangers deposits one
stapler on the front desk, and leave as quickly as they had entered.

*lots of people
*a black outfit for everyone; hopefully (but not necessarily) with mask, top
hat, and cape
*lots of staplers--one for each computer lab, plus one for the Student fnord
Senate--yes, we're going to interrupt the Senate meeting!
*labels for the staplers, saying "brought to you by the Stapler Liberation
Front, which has nothing to do with the Campus Crusade for Chaos and Confusion"

This will be taking place THIS COMING THURSDAY (April 14). We can start at
either 4:40 or 8:10--please reply and let me know which time would work best for
you. We want a lot of people for this.

You MUST wear all black; we need to look uniform. Wear a cape if you have it;
preferably black, but better a non-black cape than no cape at all. Masks
(again, preferably black) are useful if you want to preserve your secret identity.
Hats are good too; top hats are especially sinister, but any black hat will
be fine.

It looks like we'll need staplers for the following labs:
*MU lab
*Olson basement lab 1
*Olson basement lab 2
*Olson basement lab 3
*Hutchison basement lab
*Hart media lab
Those, plus the senate, will need 7 staplers in total. We'd prefer them to be
all identical, but if we can get donated staplers, we can waive that
requirement--they DO all need to be in good working order and look good, though. Let
me know if you've got a stapler you want to donate. If we're short on staplers
we can probably skip one or two of the labs in Olson.

I've only included the open-access computer labs on this list. The
department-specific ones generally aren't as crowded, tend to be more difficult to get
to from the Quad, and often already have staplers of their own anyway.

Let me know if you've got any suggestions. And please let me know if you can
make it (and what time works best); I need an estimate of how many
participants we're going to get.

Free Staples for All!
-=-Chaos Phoenix

SLF2.jpg SLF3.jpg SLF4.jpg


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2005-04-18 08:28:53   Yeah...uh...interesting idea...but inherently flawed. Who is going to refill the staplers after the first 100 people use it in the first hour. —GeorgeLewis

2005-04-18 12:51:47   yea... staple upkeep and replacing them when they inevitably break. also you might want to be careful about barging into 'open access' computer labs to make your message. the open access rooms are sometimes used for classes. and just being disruptive in a computer lab in general can land you in a meeting with the SJA. but i guess that's why you wear masks... lets hope you aren't recognized=p —DcLewis

In case you hadn't failed. The staplers were gone immediately following the operation. —GeorgeLewis

The rumors are true; I was embedded in the SLF, 1st company, and I saw the operation firsthand. While I cannot comment on the extent of my activities, I must urge the student body to reject any hint of a retreat from the optimism that the SLF has brought to our ailing computer labs and to the students who use them. While the SLF may never win the battle, the fight against the fascist anti-stapler / anti-student policies will not be in vain. The victims of this brutality will not soon forget the compassion of those that dared to do the impossible to alleviate their suffering. A stapler for one is a stapler for all! From the front lines, remember to tend your victory gardens and God bless the SLF! —RobertBaron

2005-04-21 14:07:07   Does the SLF dare enter the maw of Shields computer lab, now that it is designated a 'Stapler-Free Zone', as evidenced by the wallpapering of said informative posted bills? —DanielMedinaCleghorn

Brent, the third picture is from the Hutchinson Lab that a group not affiliated with Campus Crusade for Chaos and Confusion had not entered and had not given a speech nor had they place any stapler in a lab that had nothing to do with computers. —RobertBaron

2005-05-05 05:34:49   The school can't afford staplers ... but we're going to Division 1. Can't afford staplers but they are putting together a health sciences district, 1 new DC, new dorms, new math building, watershed resource center, rennovation on no less then 4 buildings ... staplers are expensive you see. —ChristopherMckenzie

2005-05-05 10:12:37   robert, i know you probably took those pictures with their phone, but man, they're awesome. especially the lighting in the first one. —ArlenAbraham

2005-05-05 13:46:03   I have had resounding success with my efforts in Shields. Wallpapering the lab with signs and highlighting the text has worked wonderfully. Since I put them all up, I have not received a single stapler question. Not even the 'so, you don't have a stapler, huh?'. And again - if this is such a big deal to you, take it up with ASUCD. I tried to help Rob, but I have heard zero progress on anything. And I find it very difficult to believe that a CRC would tell someone that a stapler was stolen, especially when there's a communication taped to a CRC desk in Hutchinson explaining exactly why staplers were decommissioned. Go buy your own stapler for $3. School doesn't provide pens and pencils, so what's the difference. Be self sufficient. —DanielMedinaCleghorn

2005-05-05 21:36:14   I'm guessing that most of what need to be stapled are assignments and papers. Why not turn this around and start a movement to encourage more professors to accept electronic submissions? Surely that is something that R4 Recycling could get on board with, and the various people who support IT in education could help professors with learning how to mark up PDFs instead of paper. —JasonAller

2005-05-09 18:12:24   I like the idea of electronic submission, I think it's something that needs to be taken seriously, despite the fact that profs would rather have a hard copy and that students would probably rather get their papers back and be able to flip through them. The whole idea of the paperless office hasn't really taken off unless you consider PDAs replacing post-it notes and emails replacing memos. As for the CRCs 'sitting on their ass and chatting on AIM', you must not go into the labs in the middle of the day - I assure you nobody is on AIM (it's not even on the computers), and sitting down is less frequent than you'd think, especially in a big lab. Your assumption that it's not a big deal to provide a stapler must be based on ignorance of every argument against putting the staplers in the lab. It obviously was a big enough deal that they had to take them out. Considering the fact that the time the CRCs trying to help people figure out how to print and fix printers and assuage those who can't open docs etc. etc. etc., was being overrun by fixing and refilling staplers, it totally changed the focus of the job. CRCs are supposed to help clients with computer related problems, not poke around inside a stapler trying to unjam it. The money it cost to supply and maintain those staplers was getting out of hand, so they stopped it. No amount of bitching on the wiki pages is going to make money magically appear, and like I said before, I gave Rob info and concerns from CRCs, and nothing's been done. If you want to complain about the lack of staplers, talk to the guy who made it an issue and then dropped it on its ass. He'll blame CLM for not getting back to him, but how many appointments has he made? I find it inconceivable that you can't forgo a beer or a soda or whatever for one day and buy yourself a stapler from the bookstore. School is there to provide you with stuff you may not already have (ARC, computer, printer, etc.), they're not there to hold your hand and tell you when it's naptime. And I fail to see how making a cardboard stapler is sadistic. Sadistic might be putting a stapler out with nothing in it and saying that there are no staplers to use. It's advertisement, designed to catch the eye. Think of it as an informational display. The idea of posting locations of public staplers is a good idea, that's something that deserves to be looked into. Constructive ideas are what's needed to stop a argument, not disparaging comments and uninformed assumptions. If you want to fix this, grab a wrench, don't just bang a hammer for some attention. -DanielMedinaCleghorn

2005-05-13 00:58:16   That's a good idea, kudos for doing your research. I don't know how flexible CLM can be with stuff like donations or working out a deal with OfficeMax, my guess would be that they would have to be entirely self sufficient. However, I'm sure CLM would be more than happy to host staplers in the lab if ASUCD wanted to pay for it, or if they could receive some dedicated funding towards it. The most effective thing I can suggest is run it by a senator and have them make a serious proposal to CLM, and do it thoroughly. Whoever can pull it off gets knighted by the student body. —DanielMedinaCleghorn

2005-05-13 11:43:33   You must've gotten this question a thousand times, but I'm going to ask it anyway: Why don't you just buy you're own? They're only a couple of bucks. —JesseSingh

2005-05-13 13:30:35   Fair enough —JesseSingh

2005-05-18 15:41:28   I seriously don't see how having a mini stapler will take up oh-so-much space in a student's backpack. Almost 98% of the student population bring cell phones which are bigger than a mini stapler. So they have space for a cell phone but not a stapler? Does not make sense to me. In addition, $2-3 that can be invested for at least one year cannot be compared to a $2-3 investment on food for one meal. Of course, students have to eat, but I highly doubt $2-3 will make that much of a difference. If you can spend that amount on alcohol or going out to party, I'm sure you can use it in a more useful way. Lastly, get a mini stapler and keep it in your backpack. That way, you will NEVER forget it. As for the eco-friendly point, I agree on that. —JennKwan

2005-05-18 17:48:35   I hear they're raising student fees next year. But let's focus our energy on staplers. —JesseSingh

stapleless.jpgThis [WWW]staple-less stapler joins your papers by punching a small, neat hole in your documents and folding the remaining flaps together for a secure binding. No paper is torn off of your sheets, and no staples are necessary. 4 or 5 sheets maximum

2005-06-14 00:24:15   Has anyone ever thought about a [WWW]Staple*less* stapler?? Sure they're cheap plastic, but only $5.95 ea, and I've seen heavier duty metal ones. —DanFisher

2005-06-14 00:54:42   Yeah. Kinda like dog-earing it. It can be done; it's not appreciated. —SS

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