Very little is known about Nick's origins. At a very young age, he was taken in by a family of wolves, who raised him for some years as one of their own. Then, around the age of five, a pack of wild cougars attacked the wolves, and captured him, bringing him back to their lair. Although he was originally meant as food for a later time, Nick quickly proved to be an adept hunter, excellent tracker, and was unparalleled in open combat. The cougars had neither the will, nor the ability to make him into a meal. One day, as he was hunting a herd of wild moose, he was surprise-attacked by badgers, who wounded him, and left him for dead in a gully. This was where he was found by the great bear, lord of the forest. The bear, seeing that Nick was obviously a brave warrior took him back to the royal cave, and taught him wisdom beyond his years. Nick was to become heir to the forest throne, until the Great Tragedy.
Lightning struck a dead, dry tree, creating a massive torrent of consuming flames, which engulfed the forest, devouring all in its path. Nick fled the great conflagration, and eventually found himself in a strange land. There was a great lake of stone, upon which strange beings glided. Nick was afraid at first, but remembered his years of trial. Fearlessly, he stepped out of the forest, and quickly saw a strange sight, something he had never seen before. He saw a figure of his same shape: another man. Nick did not know what to do. He knew the many tongues of the woodlands, but had never heard anything like the strange sounds emanating from the figure before him. as the man drew nearer, it seemed even more bizarre. it was his same shape, but its skin was covered with designs and patterns. It appeared as if small pieces of shiny stone had pierced its skin.
The human brought Nick home, and fed him. the human taught Nick his strange language, and, seeing that he was a skillful fighter, decided to teach him the way that humans fought. Nick learned that when humans fought, they did so in a large cage, with many, many other people assembled to watch. Thus began Nick's career as a cage fighter. Nick, having learned from the wolf, the cougar, and the bear, became a great cage fighter, winning match after match. None could withstand his skill and power. Eventually, Nick tired of cage fighting, and decided to follow more intellectual pursuits.
Nick moved to a small town called Davisville, and got his very first computer, where he found out about the internet, and soon discovered a strange thing known as the DavisWiki...
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Great job being bold & making some good and funny new pages! —PhilipNeustrom
2008-12-07 20:23:25 dude what a wuss —ChrisWaterstraat
2008-12-07 20:44:59 "unparalleled in open combat"? what a joke! —ChrisWaterstraat
2008-12-07 20:50:20 "massive torrent of engulfing flames, which ran amok through the forest, devouring all in its path" You have a few problems here:
1. Torrent refers to water, a liquid, or something behaving in a liquid state. The word you are looking for is conflagration.
2. Engulfing is a verb, you are using it as an adjective.
3. Fire running amok? That just sounds lame.
2008-12-07 20:56:12 1. torrent can also refer to "a sudden, violent, and copious outpouring of something" (Webster's Dictionary) 2. Engulfing was used as a verbal (remember 9th grade english?)
3. screw you —NickW
2008-12-07 21:34:25 Engulfing flames? Even if the usage were correct, the flow suffers. —ChrisWaterstraat
2008-12-07 21:43:27 apparently you are not up to date on the piece of writing that you are critiquing. —NickW