|Sir John Walter Chauntecleer|
|Bangoo is Korean for fart.|
|(aka Bangoo, aka Twitchy Nutless)|
|Bangoo is pronounced with a B that also sounds like a P, the "an"|
|is said like a flat on, and the "goo" is just like a polymer.|
|Things Bangoo loves to shred: toilet paper, fingers and Liz's essays.|
|Bangoo prefers dry food as opposed to wet.|
|LizKim and JessicaJohnson|
|Bangoo sometimes runs into the bathtub when he gets into trouble.|
Bangoo is a very frustrating pet to have. He looks cute and cuddley, but beneath that soft fuzzy exterior lies a panther...or a ninja. He prefers clawing and biting our guests, so if you are (un)fortunate to meet Bangoo, make sure you are wearing long sleeves and pants. We plan on trying out kitty claw covers that are glued on the nail, and we will let you know how that goes. Or you may volunteer your skin.
A while ago, his house was constructed out of cardboard boxes. The masterpiece is on display at Bangoo's residence where he lovingly trains for the Great War by jumping in all manners off, into, around, over, and under his cardboard domocile. If you are wise, you will not rest your hand anywhere on or around the holes in his house for yee shall pay a heavy price...in flesh.
He was recently "de-augmented" as we like to call it. Despite his bitter feelings about the procedure, he refuses to go through "testicle replacement" surgery. When the vet informed him that it would be possible to increase the gauge of his "faux-balls" his ears perked up. However his request that they be constructed of pure steel was rejected due to possible health risks. Bangoo's idea was that the plastic "fillers" would make a hollow noise if they were tapped, but if he couldn't have balls of steel then why even have balls at all?
The world is right there with you, Bangoo.
Not a single soul has escaped the clutches of Bangoo's cuteness. His adorable qualities are only matched by bunnies with pancakes on their heads, and that's pretty darn cute. If you find yourself trapped within the throes of fuzzy-wuzzy cuddleyness, there is only one thing you can do to survive: snuggle his face.
Some might wonder how Sir John Walter Chauntecleer, aka Bangoo, came about his name. The story begins the fatal day he was picked up. To show his affection for his new slaves Bangoo farted in their faces. The sudden ass-gas was more potent and deadlier than the mustard gas used in WWII. Ass-gas is a noxious substance that when inhaled causes the victim to convulse. If the victim is not treated within 5 minutes with pure oxygen the victim will suffer permanent brain damage, if not immediate death. Hence he came about his nickname Bangoo which actually means fart in Korean.
Bangoos slave (because who else will feed his royal ass-ness and clean up after his natural byproducts?) is an avid reader whom has fallen madly in love with Sir Walter Scott (author of Waverley) and Geoffrey Chaucer (author of The Canterbury Tales). Bangoo is named after John Doe, the anonymous immortal who has evaded the eyes of society with greater skill than Thomas Pynchon. The namesake of Bangoos middle name is Sir Walter Scott, the Scottish novelist and poet of the 18th century. And Chauntecleer is the name of the noble rooster in The Nuns Priests Tale. So there you have it, how the remarkable history of Sir John Walter Chauntecleers name came to be. And as you can expect he is a very literal and intelligent feline who is intensively studying to be a medievalist.
His hobbies include interior decorating, pilates, stamp collecting, and drawing blood from unsuspecting victims. In his free time he is often found either cuddling with Liz or terrorizing Jessica. In either situation, Bangoo wields complete control over both girls as if he were a dictator. Despite their efforts to exact discipline, he remains the untamed force of feline ferocity in the greater downtown Davis area.
Our sovereign prince has recently aquired Jessica's newest piece of furniture, the infamous free Poäng from IKEA. Since he is the only remaining monarch of this province, he has changed the name to Petoria in honor of his favorite television show The Family Guy. He spends most of his day napping there. When he isn't napping, he usually glares at Jessica.